Sunday, July 26, 2009

Who Do You Trust?

"The fear of man brings a snare. But whoever trusts in the Lord shall be safe." Proverbs 29:25

Trusting prople is an issue for most of us. Most times, your trust issues are formed from childhood traumas. Your childhood traumas may be broken promises by your parents; being left home alone as a child with no one to care for you; a frightening experience where you were not protected by you parents; where a parent shows favoritism among the children; child abuse or sexual abuse. This is just to name a few.

These traumas leave you feeling unloved, unworthy, betrayed and abandoned. If you do not heal from these traumas, you subconsciously draw to you people who will conduct themselves in a way that taps into your feelings of distrust, abandonment and betrayal, Even if they do not intend to hurt you or if their conduct does not rise to a level of betrayal or abandonment, it is your perception that controls. Consequently, if you perceive that they have betrayed you, then it feels like betrayal to you. You then feel that you can not trust this person and you shut off part of your heart to them.

For example, you ask a friend to loan you $500.00. However, the friend tells you that they wish they could help you out but they can not lend you the money. You believe they have the means to lend the money to you. However, your friend is financially challenged and does not have the money to lend. They did not tell you this because they are ashamed that they are in this financial condition. You decide you can not trust them to be there for you and you will never ask them to loan you money again. You are disappointed. You feel betrayed because you feel they are not there for you. However, on a subconscious level, you knew by previous conversations that they were having financial challenges. You requested a favor that you subconsciously knew that they could not deliver. This is called a "self-fulfilling prophesy". You knew they could not come through for you. You knew the end of the story before the story began.

Unfortunately, you recreate events with people in your life that reinforce feelings of betrayal and abandonment. You feel you can not count on anyone to be there for you. You feel you can not trust people to love you the way you need to be loved. The deeper your wounds are from the past, the greater the need to protect yourself from the world. Consequently, you live an existence of anger, hurt and loneliness.

Heart to Heart Message for Today
Trust people to be human. Trust people to be who they are--not who you expect or want them to be. Do not set yourself up to distrust all people because no one can be who you expect or want them to be. No one is perfect. No one can be be perfect--just for you--all the time. They can only be who they are. Remember this:

As you judge others, you judge yourself. As you accept others, you accept yourself. As you forgive others, you forgive yourself. As you love others, you love yourself.

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